the one that got away?

somewhere in the sea of my lost boyfriends, there is a man that some hopeless romantics might call "the one that got away."

(thank god i'm no longer a hopeless romantic.)

he and i dated for a few months a couple years ago. he was gorgeous, funny, liberal, a die-hard packers fan with season tickets (my mom liked this best of all), and most importantly, he treated me like a princess without being overwhelmingly cheesy about it. in other words; he was perfect.

unfortunately, i was still hung up on a quite imperfect ex, so i stupidly ended it.

yes, i was an idiot. (though i'm not still kicking myself over it.)

fast forward a year later– we decided to become friends. we hung out, went to happy hour and live music, i attended his many house parties and we always got along fabulously. while my feelings for him never really died, i only felt them growing stronger with our newfound friendship.

so, one night at happy hour last summer, after a couple cosmopolitans, i found the courage to confess my lingering feelings to him. i was let down, but he seemed to leave the door open on us... it just didn't seem like the right time for him.

a couple of weeks later, after he confessed his feelings for one of my good friends to her, i knew the door had slammed shut right in front of my face.

our friendship didn't survive.

once again, fast forward several months to the present moment– he's moving hours away from the city to take a new job. he's invited me to a going-away party and he recently included me in a mass email about getting together for happy hour before he leaves.

i've been cordial with him, but i read the email, smiled and deleted it. there's no need to see him again.... i've already gladly waved goodbye to "the one that was meant to get away."

see, that's the thing about being perfect. so many expectations to live up to, and so many chances to fall off that pedestal. his behavior during our friendship showed me that perhaps he wasn't who i thought he was, perhaps he never should've been up on that pedestal to begin with.

and now i know this door was meant to be kept shut.