The Red Flags.

we've been dating for about two months now. it's high time some red flags were thrown in this cyncial girl's face.

he called me tiger the other night. not tiger as in "you sexy siren," but tiger as in, "way to go on that home run, tiger!" my friend phil thought it was "cute...but he clearly doesn't want to have sex with you."

last night, he left me a voicemail. and called me "cracker jack." just when i thought it couldn't get any worse than "tiger."* friend josh said, "that is a weird one, actually. but, again, if a guy called me that i'd think it was really fucking cute. but you're a girl, and girls don't like to be called weird things."

i'm nitpicking. i know. he's got a lot of wonderful qualities to him, but the bigredflag is that he's so very inexperienced, which results in waning chemistry for me. (which is ironic, considering he's a chemist...)

don't get me wrong, i'm not letting him go just yet. and i wouldn't consider letting him go for just a couple of dorky little terms of endearment. these are just precursors to slightly bigger issues of inexperience... which i'll plead the fifth on, thank you very much.

*i called him back and was maybe just a little short with him. (a combination, of tiredness and the cracker jack factor.) five minutes after we hung up, his facebook status read that he is "showing his soon to be married good buddy the pearls of happiness that reside with bachelorhood, not the wife's chains, in SIN CITY where the fun, sun, drinks and ladies never end." a dig at me, perhaps? hmph. have fun in vegas, my friend.

a week in mobile pictures, vol. II

twins game, stellar view, a few beers and a cute guy by my side= a VERY sunday funday.

where i landed myself after a severe sore throat and lots of hits on webmd.com.

mom's 50th birthday dinner at trattoria da vinci. fabulous food and company and lots of great prom-dress watching. (is it just me getting old or are prom dresses getting sluttier and sluttier?)

scary movie night at home. my roommate's mother calls and THIS is the frame she decides to pause the movie on so she can talk. i'm utterly shocked i didn't have nightmares about IT.

sick of sick.

i'm not one to b*tch. (well, at least not in a public format like this.) but after downing three cups of tea and one nalgene full of water, sucking down four cough drops and swalling my fourth acetaminophen tablet all before noon and all while still feeling as though i'm under the nyquil haze of last night...

i've had it.

since last november, i've been sick at least once or twice a month. steady. for a girl who's used to getting knocked down by a 24-hour flu or silly little cold once a year, this has hit me hard. especially yesterday, lying in bed, looking out at the 83 degree weather, wanting so badly to feel like galavanting outside. no such luck.

my doctor told me yesterday i'm fine, the onslaught of sickness is because of all the recent changes in my life. (even when i pressed to have bloodwork done, he sent me home with the "reassurance" that they'll call me if the strep test comes back positive.) my mom thinks it might be mold in my apartment. (she's crazy.) my roommate thinks i'm crazy.

maybe i'm crazy. maybe i should be in a therapist's office instead of a doctor's office. maybe i am just this silly little hypochondriac who has an incredibly low threshold for pain. but the truth is- my throat f*king hurts. my body f*king aches. last night, i woke up shivering and drenched in sweat from the acetaminophen (well, either that or cancer, according to webmd) and today i'm finding it hard to concentrate, even though i should be incredibly focused on the piles of work i have in front of me.

and you know- it's not cancer, it's not life-threatening and i can make it through my day. i'm thankful for that. but all this sickness is enough to bum out this girl on this beautiful friday.

here's to a restful weekend and a full recovery...

weekend recap.

much like old people can feel a good thunderstorm coming on in their knees, i know when summer is here when i run into an old boyfriend. i live in a neighborhood that houses not just one, but two exes. i've seen neither all winter long, but when i ran into ex #1 as i got off the bus on friday afternoon, i realized that hibernation season is over and summer is in fact here. (nice, short, casual conversation... and i still made it to happy hour on time.)

i experienced psycho suzi's patio in 75-degree weather for the first time this season and it was glorious. even the guy inexplicably wrapped up in a snuggie* seemed to be enjoying the warm weather and tropical atmosphere.

watching a twins game 30 rows up in between home plate and first base is nothing like watching it from the nosebleeds. especially when your killer seats are free. twins swept the angels in a three game series and this is as interested as i've been in baseball.... ever.

*inspired by psycho suzi's snuggie patron, my roommate and i decided to have a photo shoot on saturday night with my very own snuggie. lots of silliness ensued and while we both admitted that this is likely reason #578 why we're single, we also couldn't have imagined a more fun place to be on saturday night. (except maybe on a date? nah......)

a few of my favorite things.

**etsy**
when i have a moment to actually waste at work, this is my favorite place to waste it in. like a fabulous, never-ending flea market with everything under the sun (and then some). i've found a beautiful necklace, a gift for a friend, a cat collar for leo and even a bridal veil. (shhhh.......)

**caprese**
fresh basil, tomato and fresh mozzarella tossed with olive oil and black pepper makes for one of the easiest and most delicious meals (especially when paired with a lightly toasted baguette) and my all-time favorite food. with summer quickly approaching and zero desire to turn on the oven for dinner in 85 degree weather, i plan on many, many caprese nights.

**gossip girl**
it's like sugary sweet candy for my soul. totally unbelievable, like a dawson's creek of the new millennium.... if joey potter frequented the martini bar in her neighborhood, wore alexander mcqueen instead of gap and gave dawson a whole lot more than just a kiss by the lake.

**cupcake**
within walking distance's from my sister's st. paul apartment (i fear i'd be 300 pounds if i lived where she did), this little bakery makes the best and most creative cupcakes. (i'm partial to the red velvet.) since i'm a bit of a connoisseur (cupcakes happen to be my obsession), i'm pretty sure i know what i'm talking about... and if i don't, someone please point me in the direction of a better cupcake!

happy weekend!

a week in mobile pictures (volume one?)

my crazy little baby leo... so cute even when he's bad. (which is most of the time.)

minnesota twins home opener week vs. seattle mariners. even though i talked to my girlfriends throughout most of the game, there is still something about baseball in the spring.

my friday afternoon walk around lake of the isles (my favorite mpls lake)... it was beautiful, it was warm, it is spring. and it reminds me that summer is just around the corner.

my little peanut (and main squeeze) grayson... washing his hands after a few oreo cookies and lot of dancing with his aunties brooke and "mimmi...." only brooke and mimmi will teach him the moves from "dirty dancing." lucky boy.

from the mind of erica jong...

i've recently begun reading fear of flying, mostly out of obligation, as it's one of The Classics, but also because it's been hailed as a book that "defines feminity and sexuality." two of my favorite things, naturally.

thus far, i've found it to be slightly pretentious and hard to follow, but 173 pages or so in, i found a couple passages that spoke to me.

"i knew that that the women who got the most out of life (and out of men) were the ones who demanded most, that if you acted as if you were valuable and desirable, men found you valuable and desirable, that if you refused to be a doormat, nobody could treat on you."

lesson learned: i AM valuable and desirable, and i've NEVER treated myself as such. no matter what a man thinks, that's what i think and even on my worst day, that's what i'll keep telling myself. because i never want to be a doormat-- for anyone-- again.

"all women think they're ugly, even pretty women. a man who understood this could f**k more women than don giovanni. they all find fault with their figures. they all think their asses are too big, their breasts too small, their thighs too fat, their ankles too thick. "

lesson learned: stop obsessing. immediately. what's the point?

the statement is much more profound than that response deserves and i could most certainly dive deeper, but i'm late for a conference call.

time to put on my "career woman" hat....

(last) weekend recap.

1. britney was great, even though she lip-synched the entire concert. just as well, homegirl can dance, and i was satisfied exchanging actual live music for fireworks, confetti, circus performers and really slutty outfits. (speaking of, i think friday night was the last time my 26-year-old ass will ever wear a black sequined mini-dress in public. RIP, mini-dress, RIP.)

2. my hatred for every bar on first and hennepin avenue (between 3rd and...oh...wherever the saloon is) only became stronger as i sat in one of the meat market bars post-britney and was forced to watch aging frat boys in collared polos pick up overly excited britney fans in sequined mini-dresses. (ummmm....)

3. vodka + gay men + drunk cousin + stanky legg= greatest remedy for sadness ever.

4. my love for 'object of my affection' (jennifer aniston + my BFF paul rudd) is second only to my great desire to have a baby with a gay man. (if you don't understand what i'm talking about, you don't understand the brilliance of 'object of my affection.')

5. sunday happens to be one of my least favorite days (next to monday- thursday), but watching my dad intensely photographing flowers at the conservatory with his jacket tied around his waist as my mom chatters on about knitting dishcloths and bunnies makes it all a little bit better.