straidar

last night, i floated through my door after my fourth date with softball spark (aka christopher). we had dinner at an adorable and delicious little nepalese restaurant settled into a corner on grand avenue. afterwards, we trekked back to his st. paul apartment (yes, i'm dating one from "the other side") and, like something out of a cheesy romantic comedy, we spent the rest of the evening listening to cat power, the rain falling outside as beautiful background noise.

as much as i might try to fight it, the more time christopher and i spend together, the more i realize just how much time i want to spend with him.

however; i digress. back to the 10:30pm waltz into my apartment. i greeted my cat and called the only friend i knew would be up to relay the details of my date to him. after we hung up, i looked at my phone and saw it: a text from an ex.

since we live across the street from each other, this ex and i have been in sporadic communication, the last of which was a couple of weeks ago, when, after a few engaging late-night conversations on my stoop, he decided it was too much for him. he couldn't handle the "floodgate of communication."

i laughed his words off and continued about my life.

then, last night, a text out of the blue. after my hot date. coincidence? i don't think so.

this is just one more example that "straight man radar" (straidar?) really does exist, subconscious as it may be. in my experience, any time i start to think that a new man could possibly mean something to me, an old one reaches out. perhaps for friendship, perhaps for something more, always seemingly fighting to be back at the forefront of my mind.

not that this ex could ever do or say anything that would make me change my mind about christopher and run back into his arms, and not that he wants me back in his arms at all ; i just find it all so incredibly amusing.

ah, the ego of the straight man.