the catch.

i am a daydreamer. more often than i should, i let my mind wander places it has no business being.

i think about all the days that have passed since he's been gone. how many pictures have been taken, phone calls received, experiences lived, without him. how much i've laughed and how much i've cried. he doesn't know about any of it.

he doesn't know how bittersweet i've come to know life to be. as much as he tried to tear me down, he doesn't know how strong he made me. or rather, how strong i became in spite of him. he doesn't know, and will never know, that as happy as i am, i still sometimes feel that catch in my throat, that catch that lets me know as far away as he may be, he hasn't quite left my heart.

i think about how if we ran into each other on the street he wouldn't even know who i am anymore. he who used to know every little thought, every emotion, every curve of my body. i wonder what would happen.... if we would hug, if our conversation would be awkward or comfortable, if we'd even acknowledge one another.

at the end of the daydream, i have no idea what would happen. nor do i really hope to ever know.

however, i do know this.

the catch. the catch will always be there.