in my head.

i've been in my head a lot lately. mostly fighting. a lot of frustrating, exasperating arguments have taken place over the last few months. i'm starting to feel a little mental. [okay, a lot mental.]

i've been so confused as to why this is. why, for when the first time in my life, i feel as though everything is going right, am i this frustrated? i've got the wonderful friendships, the supportive family, the great career, the cute little apartment in the city and most of all, the immense lack of negativity in my life. there are no storms; life is calm.

but that's the thing.

the storms have all passed and i no longer have to focus on surviving them; now, i've got to focus on all the debris that's been left behind and force myself to start picking up the pieces.

and that is proving to be harder than the storms themselves. because now the questions start. now that i don't have anything else to focus on, it's just me. it's what i want and need, no one else. and what do i want, what do i need, who am i, really, without any storms?

standing under a clear sky, amidst all the debris, trying to find those answers is scary as hell.